Blue Water Seafood
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| Photo courtesy of Blue Water Seafood. |
What is your communication style?
There are two types of communicators - confronters or avoiders. But since we're eating seafood, let's compare your communication style to your dinner.
Crabby? (The Confronter) Whenever a problem comes your way, do you automatically start pinching at your spouse? Do you want to tackle the problem head on so you can get it off your chest? Confronters can't let things go unspoken. They are less worried about feelings and more focused on saying it.
Scared Fish? (The Avoider) An avoider would rather swim away (or perhaps be silent). They don't like confrontation, but unfortunately often times they just bottle it in until it becomes to late.
Once you discuss what you and your spouse's style is, recognize how you are going to accommodate each other in your communication with one another.
If you are both confronters, you should be mutually satisfied to get it off your chest quickly. Just a word of caution: Promise each other to stay focused on the problem - not the person.
If you're both avoiders, this actually works out well too. Both parties may realize through time that the issue is not a big deal after all, and they both work it out on their own. However, if the issue needs to be brought up, there is a mutual willingness to wait until the moment is right.
Lastly, if one avoids and one confronts, you can see it takes a bit more creativity and understanding with one another. Recognizing these differences will be a great tool in finding a way to meet in the middle. For example, if an issue arrives and the confronter is ready to talk about it, the avoider can say, "Can I go for a drive first? I need some time to think. I promise we'll talk about it when I get back."
Now with all this fishy talk, you must be hungry! Enjoy your seafood!
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