77379 Don't discard your spouse like an old piece of bread!

Euro Bakery

http://www.eurobakery-cafe.com/blog/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/david-hendberg/5617103648/

While we all enjoy bakery food, we also enjoy growing closer together within our marriages! No one likes to eat an old piece of bread, just like many couples want to prevent their marriage from becoming stale. An important concept to learn when you are eating a baguette at the Euro bakery is:

Accepting Influence from one’s spouse

In marriage the process of sharing the decision-making power with one’s spouse is referred to as accepting influence.This means counseling with and listening to one’s spouse, respecting and considering his or her opinions as valid as one’s own, and compromising when making decisions together (Gottman 1998).

The recipe for a happy healthy marriage is for both partners to share equal ownership and influence in all family affairs (Gottman, 1999). From his studies he concluded that marriages, work to the extent that men accept influence from, and share power with, women. Women, are already well practiced at accepting influence from men, so it is critical for the well-being of marriage that men learn to do likewise.

●      Ways to accept influence include:

○      We can accept influence by turning to our spouse for advice

○      Being open to his or her ideas

○      Listening to and considering their opinions

○      Learning from our spouse

○      Showing respect

○      Recognizing points they can can both agree on

○      Compromising

○      Showing trust in your spouse 

○      Being sensitive to their feelings

■      Try these helpful talking points:

●      “What are your feelings about this issue?

●      Please tell me why this is so important to you?

●      Tell me how you would solve the problem?

●      What are your goals in regard to this issue?

Remember! The kind of tone you use is important and questions need to be framed in accepting the other’s influence. Be understanding, compromising, and most of all work towards unity, this will create goals married couples can achieve. 

And these goals will be ones that last forever building upon your secure foundation.