20 Questions

I’m sure that you’ve heard of the game “20 Questions” at some point in your life. For this date you will be playing this game, taking the opportunity to learn more about your spouse. The materials you’ll need for this date are:

 -paper

-scissors

-writing utensil

-bowl

Both you and your spouse will write down 10 questions that you’d like to know about each other and questions that you’d feel comfortable answering yourself. You’ll then cut each question into its own slip of paper and put them in a bowl. You’ll then take turns picking out a question and reading it aloud. The spouse who didn’t pick the question will answer it first, and then the spouse who picked the question will answer it afterwards. This ensures that both spouses answer all 10 questions that were written by each other, making it 20 questions total.

Your daily R&R Tip! (Relationship Reconnection):

Remember to keep this game fun and enjoyable for the both of you. Do not ask questions that you wouldn't feel comfortable answering yourself or that may hurt your spouse's feelings. You may be answering questions that are on a deeper level, so fight the urge to get defensive or put up walls. This is an opportunity to become vulnerable in order to really connect with your spouse. 

A Tale for Two

This date is one for the books; literally! You’ll be creating a short story with your spouse. Whether you enjoy writing or not, this date will require you and your spouse to work together creating a story that the two of you can look back on and have great memories to enjoy a few laughs about. The greatest part about it is that you don’t have to leave home!

Your Daily R&R Tip! (Relationship Reconnection):

The way that you will build your relationship through this date is up to you. Maybe you want to include ideas from weird and crazy dreams you’ve had into your story, taking the time to describe the details to your spouse. Maybe you want to write a story based on past experiences you’ve had with each other or from your childhood. Or maybe you want to write a story that could be expounded on and turned into a real novel someday. Whatever you end up writing about, make sure you both contribute to the story and make this a date to remember in a positive way. 

Penny Drive Escapade

For this date all you will need are:

-a car

-a penny

-a sense of adventure!

On this date you will be driving to an undisclosed location to the both of you. The way this location is determined? A penny! To start off, you’ll drive out of your driveway and come to the edge of your neighborhood. Whether you turn right or left is up to the flip of a coin. Take turns flipping the penny at each intersection. If the penny lands on heads, turn left; if tails, turn right. You’ll do this for 20 flips, and then you’ll stop at the venue closest to you—whether a field, store, restaurant, or neighborhood! Once there, go ahead and park and get out and take a walk together. If you ever come to a junction where turning in the direction the penny specified is impossible, go ahead and turn the other way, flipping the coin to determine the next possible turn.

Your Daily R&R Tip! (Relationship Reconnection):

With each flip of the coin, whoever is the one flipping it will take their turn telling their spouse something they appreciate about them. There should be enough time within each turn that elaboration on what you appreciate about your spouse can be said. Remember to trade off flipping for each turn so that each spouse can have the opportunity to share his or her appreciation as well as hear it from his or her spouse.

Image courtesy of 'Gualberto107' from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Visit a New Restaurant

We all have our favorites restaurants and our favorite orders from those places, but how often do we go out of our comfort level to try something new? Sometimes it can feel scary, but for this date, try to make it more of an adventure in trying something new! Make sure that you choose a restaurant that you both haven’t ever been to before. The new atmosphere and new food will give both of you a sense of excitement for this date!

Your Daily R&R Tip! (Relationship Reconnection):

While on your date in this new restaurant, make sure to talk about the things you like and dislike about this new restaurant. Ask your spouse questions about the restaurant to learn more about each other—such as preferences to food, atmosphere, service, etc. For example, you could ask your spouse if the food they ordered is something that they would have again or not and why that is. You could share your feelings about the atmosphere—was it too casual, formal, unexpected? Make this discussion fun and a learning moment with your spouse. You’ll never know what answers and discoveries this new experience will bring about! 

Aquarium Adventure

This date will require some planning of the budget since it will not be free. However, this date can bring back many great memories of your childhood and a great opportunity to share those memories with your spouse, developing deeper meaning to your relationship. Check out this great aquarium!

Your Daily R&R Tip! (Relationship Reconnection):

Look for opportunities to share past memories and experiences from your childhood with your spouse. Even if you didn’t ever visit an aquarium when you were younger, there are connections you can make with each room you visit that you can share with your spouse. For example, if you were to visit the shark tank, you could share an experience of when you were younger that made you frightened of sharks if you don’t like them or an experience that made you think they were cool. There are many ways you can make connections and find ways to share feelings and instances with your spouse through this activity and I encourage you to go out of your comfort zone to find them. 

Snuggle Session

For this date, you’ll need a spot to sit both you and your spouse together comfortably such as a couch, bed, or large recliner.  You’ll snuggle in close together, maybe wrapping arms around each other, in order to feel the warmth and closeness of your spouse. You’ll then take turns talking about your greatest dreams, wishes, and desires. Questions for further clarification of these dreams is allowed, but make sure to give sufficient time to each person to share what they want. There is something about physical touch that invokes a deep, emotional connection and allows for greater disclosure and sharing of feelings.

Your Daily R&R Tip! (Relationship Reconnection):

Remember that this time for talking is for sharing deep, personal feelings in a safe place. Any criticism or harsh remark of your spouse’s comments is a blow to their self-esteem and their personal feelings and desires. You both are becoming more vulnerable through this experience with your spouse, and in order to develop the deeper emotional connection, these feelings that are being shared need to be kept confidential and respected. By sharing these deeper dreams and desires with your spouse, you will be building up your emotional intimacy within your marriage by building your love maps of each other. 

Image courtesy of 'imagerymajestic' at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Star Gazing

Something about viewing the stars in the quiet of the night brings feelings of awe and reverence for the creations of the world. That’s why it’s the perfect romantic date to take your spouse on! For this date you’ll need:

• a blanket (or two)
• a couple pillows
• a clear sky

You can’t control the weather, so it’s a good idea to check the forecast throughout the week when planning this date.

Your daily R&R Tip! (Relationship Reconnection):

Going out and watching the stars is great and fun, but it won’t be the romantic setting you’ll want it to be unless you flame some of the embers yourself. Some ways you can do this is by sharing personal goals, feelings, and dreams. By sharing intimate details of your life with your spouse, you are building your love map with them and encouraging the emotional intimacy within your marriage to grow. This can be hard, awkward, and tricky if you are unfamiliar or out of practice in sharing your personal feelings with your spouse. This date can be a great way to start that practice back up again. Asking each other questions about dreams and desires may be a less awkward way to start than by simply stating, “Okay, I guess it’s my turn to talk.” The romantic side to this date may not happen at first, but continuing to practice sharing intimate feelings and details with each other (not only through this date, but in everyday life) will eventually bring a much deeper, emotionally fulfilling relationship to your marriage that will encourage and foster the romance that both spouses need.

Image courtesy of 'samarttiw' at FreeDigitalPhotos.net